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A Final Word From David -
On September 23, 2000, Ann received the ultimate healing. Being human, it was not the healing we would
have liked - but her pain is over and who could wish it back on her? She led her
life to the fullest right up to the day she died. The Thursday night before, Ann
went to a slumber party with a prayer group she of which she was a part. Friday
night we cooked out with our children and watched a movie. Even then there was
no indication how close the end was. She woke me up Saturday morning about 7 AM
and stated she could not move her legs. In fact, she had no ability to move
anything below her shoulders. At her request I sat her up - but she quit
breathing. After laying her back down, she started breathing again after about a
minute. I made a call to Hospice, who sent a nurse out. Together we sat Ann back
up, only to have her stop breathing again. It was determined that she had a
tumor on her spine that was interfering with the nerves in her spine. This is
what caused the paralysis and the blackouts when she sat up. Ann's back started
bothering her and she was given some pain medication. By 9 AM the family had all
been notified and had arrived at our house. The nurse and I moved Ann to the
hospital bed we had in our bedroom. About 10 AM she started complaining about
not being able to breathe. About 11:30 AM she was given some more pain
medication, and about noon she slipped into a coma. About 3 PM I crawled in bed
with Ann, watching her breathing slow down. One our two cats had also climbed up
into bed with her and was sleeping. As 4 PM approached I could see her breaths
being further and further apart, and at 4 PM she took her last breath. I told
someone in the room she had gone and the family gathered around and weep at our
loss. Then Justin said a long sweet prayer for his Mother. At her request, Ann has been cremated and had her ashes spread off of Cape
Lookout, North Carolina on May 26, 2001. This was a place we sailed to several
times and always found peace and beauty. Schools of porpoise play in the
area as well as the occasional sea turtle. A Service of Celebration was held for Ann on September 30th. The service was
planned by Ann a couple of weeks before her passing and included
a
statement written by Ann on life and dying.. There was no visitation the
night before the service. The service was a joyous happy occasion that gave
praise to God for the way He used Ann to celebrate his glory. To give you an
idea of how many people Ann had touched, the church (1st Presbyterian Church of
Burlington NC) seats 600 people comfortably. All the pews were pack to capacity
and there were people standing against the walls on the main floor and the
balcony. One of the ministers stated she had never seen so many people present
for a service there before. Following the service, a reception was held in
a large open room where people were free to mingle with any of the family
members they wished to speak with. Light food was provided by the Women of
the Church. Rather than the low key, quite, somber occasion the
typical "visitation" is, this was a very happy joyous time for
everyone. Ann's continuing happiness was present with us. It is hard for me to even begin to describe to you what a wonderful person
Ann was. As a wife not only did she do those things a "wife" does, but
she was my best friend as well. We were so in tune to each other, that during
our 24 years of marriage we had a total of about 4 arguments! And because they
happened so infrequently, we did not know how to behave - so they did not last
long. We always attributed our happiness to each of us putting the wants and
needs of the other before ourselves. As a Mother to our two children and my son
(her step-son), she showed patience and kindness. She gave them the love that
only a Mother can give without conditions. As a daycare provider for 13 years,
she touched the lives of many other young children as they came to stay in our
home during the week days. As Ann moved out of daycare and back into the
business world as a personal placement consultant, she made friends with the
candidates she was helping to place. One candidate noted that Ann truly listened
to what he had to say and acted on his words in his best interest. When Ann was
diagnosed with cancer in December of 1997, she left work on long term
disability. She had hoped to come back to work, but reoccurrence of her cancer
made that impossible. So she focused her energies to other areas. She started a
local colon cancer support group, and led or made arrangements for guest
speakers once a month. She explored other avenues of cancer fighting rather than
just the traditional chemotherapy. She quit eating meat. She started drinking
fresh carrot juice and apple juice. She attended a two week school on how to
cleanse the body of toxins - both the chemo and from within the foods we eat
today. This made a major difference in her life. She lost weight, lost cellulite
and felt better than she had in years. Ann was asked to join the Cancer
Committee for the Alamance Medical Regional Center as the first non-medical
person on the committee. Ann was very interested in helping the hospital to
explore more naturopathic ways of treating cancer. Ann always had a smile on her
face and spoke easy of her cancer. She knew she was going to die and looked upon
that knowledge as a gift from God. It gave her the opportunity to do things with
our family and friends that would otherwise be put off - knowing there would be
another day. Ann's bright blue eyes, and smiling face will be missed by many - maybe none
more than myself. But her faith in God has left me that much stronger knowing
that her suffering is over and that my suffering is really just selfishness of
missing her and wanting her to be back her with me. Life is, and will be,
different without her. Once our daughter returns to college in the spring I will
only have our 2 cats and a lifetime of memories left. But as long as I have
those memories Ann will never be very far away from me |
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